It occurred to me that I had not woken up yet from my dream.
But it was not a dream.
Compared to the boy in my dream, the young man in front of me was too grown up. He had curly black hair, and a classical face with decadent energy that had never existed in his childhood.
As if waiting for me to come to my senses, Nocton leaned sideways at the door and stared at me still.
“How did you get here….”
I never invited him or heard that he asked for a visit. No matter how high Duke Edgar’s position is, he cannot enter a house without the owner’s permission.
I looked at Nocton with trembling eyes and found the girl standing next to him.
The child with scarlet hair, freckles, and maid outfit was Sadie.
“What kind of tea shall I bring you, my lady?”
I wonder what’s so important about tea now, but Sadie’s ridiculous words didn’t come to my ears.
Her face was not her usual face. Her expression is blank and her eyes are blurred. On the other hand, the voice that came out of her mouth was polite and articulate, which made me confused.
I didn’t want to hear it, but I tried to squeeze the words out.
“….two cups of Darjeeling, the one from Mount Romeran. One at 85 degrees and don’t put in too many tea leaves.”
“Yes, my lady. I’ll bring it soon.” Politely, she bowed down and left with a quiet step.
There was no hint of my reflection in that look. Like someone who doesn’t even know something’s wrong.
Sadie was timid and shy, but she was a fundamentalist. She will not bring a guest without her master’s permission.
‘Everyone in Duke Edgar’s household is brainwashed by Nocton Edgar.’
It’s too heavy to dismiss lightly, but I’m afraid I’ve let Alice’s words slip too far nonetheless.
A chill ran down my spine. Whether the person in front of me is a childhood friend who has been with me for so long, or someone who has been able to attach a tender, irritating, but vaguely affection.
My whole body felt dizzy at the moment. I gulped down my dry saliva as if to press my embarrassment.
“I came as soon as you told me, but I didn’t expect to come to your room. Do you want to go to the drawing room?”
“It’s okay. Let’s talk here.”
I wanted to take a deep breath, but I had to settle for a thin breath. I pretended as much as I could.
No, don’t doubt it already. There’s nothing I can be sure of yet.
Perhaps, indeed, perhaps all these recent stories were wrong. Alice certainly did some things that only I would know, but it was a single story.
Only one exception was enough to prove that the assumption might be wrong. Maybe it’s a misunderstanding between the characters inside the novel.
I may be turning a blind eye to reality. One, this level of mindset was the best I could have.
There is no love, and it’s kind of a halfway. Even so, I had known Nocton Edgar since childhood and was close by, so I thought he wasn’t that bad. I wanted to believe so.
Thanks to my desperate efforts, I could find a level of peace, even if not perfect.
In the meantime, whatever he’s thinking, Nocton said nothing at all. Maybe he thinks I’m angry, because he ignored what I said at the ball.
How long has it been, Sadie came back with the tea. I felt a little calmer as I stay.
“What’s the matter, Nocton. You’ve never been here before.”
“I didn’t hear from you, so I realized it belatedly.”
“What?”
“I apologize for speaking ill of your fiancé, Valrose. Surely, like you said, a fiancé and a friend can’t be the same. It’s natural for you to get angry.”
The words was slow and clear, but I couldn’t quite understand what Nocton said.
Most of Nocton Edgar’s apologies were matched with ridicule or pretense. To hear such a simple apology from Nocton, I forgot about how cool my mind was until and while ago, and openly doubt it.
“Apology? You?”
“That’s a bad reaction.”
“Would you believe it if you were me? Don’t worry about it. It’s not a day or two that you’ve been speaking ill of people.”
“It’s generous of you to forgive me so easily.”
Yes, it’s more of a Nocton Edgar over here.
I felt the situation was no different from usual as I spoke a few words. I felt relieved and my stiffened shoulders became light.
The assumption that it might be a vain hope was gaining strength. The power of the word as usual was so strong.
Sadly, however, today is not the usual day.
As if to laugh at me with relief, Nocton’s eyes turned strange. He tilted his tea cup gracefully and changed his voice a little. In a lower, whispery voice.
“The new you who didn’t come to see me has gotten more kind.”
“What are you talking about.”
“A little while ago. I thought you’d say something else. ‘How did you get here’, not the same thing, for instance … ‘Why did you bring Nocton Edgar without permission?’. Your maid did something wrong. But you’re so kind. You sent it back without saying a word.”
Like someone who knows it’s not her fault.
The words that didn’t even come out of Nocton’s mouth passed the cut like an auditory hallucination.
Obviously, Nocton was laughing at me.
Crash! I didn’t know if the thundering sound comes first, or if my heart starts pumping again.
My heart was pounding.
His calmness is like a lie.
Why would he says that?
With the broken relief, I felt uneasy, scared, and sad. My lips trembled.
“It’s not strange if I don’t punish my servant in front of a guest.”
While answering that, I recalled once again the look in the eyes of the maid who had stood beside him.
Did Sadie really get hurt by something, such as Nocton Edgar’s magic, brainwashed, and brought him here without asking my permission?
“I didn’t mean to say you were strange, Valrose. I’m just admiring your kindness.”
Then why, Nocton Edgar.
Why did my bad childhood friend come to my room in Marquis Valrose’s residence?
And why did he come into my room without visiting normally?
To make sure if I know something?
It can’t be. It was because of her dream that Alice could talk about Nocton. No matter how powerful Nocton is, he will not be able to look into other people’s dreams.
But if not, why did Nocton choose to visit like this, as if he were testing me?
Why did Nocton Edgar, who had never set a foot in Valrose’s mansion, come this way at this time of year?
If he wants to confirm something, what then?
If he’s sure I know about his secret, what’s next?
“Listen, you met Limorand’s daughter at the night of the ball?”
“You’re crazy, you put someone on it?”
“Don’t get me wrong. The watchman is a cute lark. I’m so worried about what’s going to happen with the engagement just around the corner.”
“Nocton Edgar!”
“You said you wouldn’t share my gossip, Valrose. What did you talk about that day?”
There was a glimmer of light in his eyes.
I thought I was getting used to it, but my mouth dried up like a frog in front of a snake.
Decade of years seemed meaningless as if they were swept away by waves.
How far do we know?
Maybe he came here to check on Alice because he found out she knew something.
To see how much Alice knows, how much I know.
And after I’ve figured it out.
What are you thinking?
The guess in my mind went wild and came to a conclusion that I didn’t want to assume.
Holding the cup with a cold fingertip, I swallowed my tea.
“Don’t intimidated me, Nocton. I’m not obligated to tell a third party what I said to my friend.”
A heavy silence fell.
If I could, I wanted to open his head to see what Nocton Edgar was thinking.
Did Nocton Edgar really come to kill someone who found out about his secret?
There was a question that I couldn’t ask straight down my throat.
Nocton dropped his cup on the table.
There was a dull sound and my eyes met with the slow rising gaze.
Nocton … was frowning.
“A third party, you say that to your friend.”
“If you’re not the one I’m talking to, you’re the same as anyone else.”
“I didn’t mean to intimidate you. By all means, Valrose, you’re my most precious person. If you don’t want to talk, yes, I’ll stop asking. I don’t want to be suspected of being a paranoid.”
He put his hands in his arms, even though his body hardened, without pretending to be.
A thin gold foiled white envelope was placed on the table.
“I’m going to throw a light tea party next week. I wish you would come.”
“….remember what I said at the ball?”
“You don’t want to get caught up in rumors. You’ll contact me when I’m calm. Don’t worry about that, Valrose. I invited your fiancé, too. Since Limorand’s daughter is also going to be there, it would be better to put the old story in order.”
Like a play actor who reads the script, Nocton didn’t even have the sight of smiling while talking like a machine. Still, with a wry frown, his face sank.
With a strange look on his face, Nocton rose.
I stood up following his move, and looked alternately at the invitation on the table and his strange expression.
Is he going back, like this?
In such a hectic situation that I can’t even remember what I said, Nocton’s sudden return made my mind even more confused.
The invitation of tea party was a foreign object to think that he had just come to see me.
Nocton cleaned up his messy outfit and smiled as usual.
Still, the line drawn around his mouth could not be said the same as usual. It’s disparate and artificial.
I couldn’t help but feel that way.
“You don’t have to punish your maid. I entered the mansion as the guest of Alroy Valrose.”
“What? Alroy?”
“So, don’t worry. Don’t doubt it, Valrose.”
In the chain of words that could not be clarified, I couldn’t say anything and kept my mouth shut.
Looking down at me in a different sense than before, Nocton bent his back.
Up on my shoulder, next to my face. A thin breath tickled my hair like a wind.
I tried to back off reflexively, but I couldn’t because the table behind me.
“Valrose.”
“What are you doing!”
“Valrose.”
“If you have something to say….”
“Actually, I don’t like Valrose so much.”
What do you mean by this.
The strange words drained the strength of his hand as I pushed him away.
“You probably don’t know for the rest of your life.”
Nocton, who bent over toward me, slowly straightened his posture.
Only then did I realize that I had a necklace made of amethyst around my neck.
Congratulations on your engagement, for now.
Leaving behind the sound of words, Nocton walked out of the room.
Indeed, it was a strange behavior.