Chapter 06. Whimsical Thinking

That night, mother gave me money for school expenses. I like to think that it was her way of making up for the lost times.

Early the next morning, mother went to the hospital and I accompanied her. The hospital was crowded with a wad of people that there was not a single place to stand. I had no choice but to wait patiently with mother. But it was all well too. The nurses were pleasing to the eyes.

“Mother,” I said, “As long as I’m free, I’ll come and visit you.”

“I wish you had that intention,” mother said.

Looking back, no matter how bad things had gotten I realized that mother had always been there for me. I just never noticed. To save the family, she was always the one working odd jobs late at night. Didn’t matter what people thought of her. As long as I, her child was fed and had a roof over my shoulder, she would be able to keep on going.

I went back home that night and I couldn’t keep my mouth shut looking at my father. He’s always so muddle-headed. He could never keep a proper, steady job. I felt pity for him.

“Mom’s in the hospital. If you’re a man, you should go see her,” I said.

He was silent for a long time before looking up to face me in the eye. “Who told her to go out and spread her legs? See I can’t stand straight n’ proper in front of others knowing what she do at night. I got no face, son.”

“Isn’t that your fault?” I lashed out.

That night, I had a heated argument with my deadbeat father. He called me a trash, a sore-eye. I really wished someone knocked some sense into him. I don’t know what he’s thinking sometimes.

Early the next morning, I went back to the city in silence. I never said goodbye to father. He didn’t deserve, especially after what happened last night.

He’s a disappointment of a father –– a disappointment as a husband and a disappointment as a father.

Knowing the life I was born into, I didn’t want a kid to grow up like that. I wanted to change my life around and hell was I determined. I’ll forge my own path.

When I got off the train station nearby school, I met Yuan Yuan. She had been suspended from school because of that incident. I thought, “Why? She did nothin’ wrong.”

Life was really unfair for a woman. They’d always get the blame.

“You’re a good person. Thank you,” said Yuan Yuan.

I smiled.

Yuan Yuan seemed to have sensed my thoughts and giggled. “What are you thinking about? Don’t worry, I won’t be relying on you all the time.”

I slowly came back to my senses and said, “If you ever need anything, I’ll be right here.”

And she shyly said, “Do you hear yourself? You’re my brother. I should be the one you rely on. As long as it’s something I, Yuan Yuan, am able to do, I will definitely give it my all!”

I smiled, thinking how brave and courageous she was. I kept Yuan Yuan’s promise in my heart.

“I thought about dying,” she changed the topic, “But I know that its unfair. Dying is easy, but I can’t simply leave this world with the mess I’ll leave behind. I want what they did to me to get a taste of their own medicine! I can’t go to school now so I found a job in customer service. The salary’s not high, but it pays! If you ever need any help, you can always look for me.”

I nodded.

After that, at her insistence, I went to her house and we had dinner.

She cooked for me, the kind of cooking that was filled with gratefulness. I really wondered what my lower half was thinking all the time back then. It was always filled with restless desire especially when I looked at Yuan Yuan’s enchanting body.

I looked at the orderly arrangement of her home. It gave off the feeling of cleanliness without a speck of dust to be found. And the cozy bed stirred the desires in my heart…

And to add, she was dressed in black: black blouse, black skirt, black stockings.

Boy was it arousing. I felt my blood boil and I immediately embraced her, smelling the fragrance of her body.

I stayed at her place that night. Things would have occurred but her parents decided to rush over from their faraway hometown and visit the place Yuan Yuan lived in.