Chapter 97: Disillusioned Father and Daughter

Xiao Wei was also stunned before he recovered within a blink to chase after Yu Xiaoxiao. He saw her flip over the justice court walls, but by the time he landed in the empty streets on the other side, she was long gone. Only a few stray cats remained hiding at the base of the wall, meowing a few times as their eyes shone dimly.

Xiao Wei stomped his feet. His princess was taking a risk by bothering His Majesty again, but these cats were still leisurely enough to sit and watch the show? Unforgivable! His stomping scattered the felines into fleeing the scene. When faced with an unreasonable human, this was their only recourse.

Xiao Wei ended up stomping all his way to the top of the justice court walls. What was the use of losing it at those cats? Could he stop his princess from entering the palace if he stomped a kitty to death?

Xiao Zhuang saw Xiao Wei return to the prisons alone and trilled, “Where’s the princess?”

Xiao Wei stared at the assassins still lying on the ground and said, “I couldn’t catch up. She’s entering the palace.”

Xiao Zhuang flopped onto the ground as he held onto one final thread of hope. “The princess will invite His Majesty out of the palace respectfully, right?”

Xiao Wei didn’t say a word. Instead, he began to drag the assassins out from below the bars and tie them up one by one. Xiao Zhuang saw him busying himself and said, “I’m asking you a question, hey.”

Xiao Wei said, “We should resign ourselves to our fate.” That father and daughter, Xiao Wei mused mischievously, If the princess has already taken His Majesty to jump off a building, what’s the worst that can happen if she drags him out of the palace once?

Zhao Beicheng listened to the two guards speak as if in a dream. “The princess really entered the palace?”

Xiao Wei gave him an impatient eye-roll and extended his head to kick Xiao Zhuang. “You’re still sitting? Get up and help, ah.”

Xiao Zhuang didn’t move. He too, was sitting there as if in a dream.

—

Yu Xiaoxiao quickly arrived at the palace gates. Like before, she leaped high into the air, past the gate tower, and landed on the ground within. She could hear music coming from somewhere in the palace and quickly headed in that direction.

Xianzong didn’t visit any beauty’s chambers tonight, but was sitting in one of the rooms within the imperial study. One hand held a cup of wine while his fingers tapped in time to the music coming from beyond the before him. His eyes were shut as his lips murmured, how to relieve one’s worries?¹

Yu Xiaoxiao didn’t alert anyone as she slipped in through a window. She gave a glance to the shadow guards hidden in the rafters and corners before striding in front of Xianzong and declaring, “Imperial father.”

Xianzong thought he was hearing things while lounging and drinking wine. Wasn’t that his daughter’s voice? Aye, he sighed and patted his heart, See what a good father I am. After my daughter got married, I still feel sad because I cherish her so much.

None of the shadow guards knew what to do. Logically speaking, they should rush out and take the princess into custody, but they didn’t seem to be her match! While they were debating whether to risk their lives against her in a bout, Yu Xiaoxiao noticed that Xianzong wasn’t paying her any attention. She stuck out her hand to pick him up and shake him from side to side. “Father!”

Xianzong opened his eyes and paled when he saw who was holding onto him. “Ling, Linglong?” He abruptly wanted to piss his pants. Why did this wretch show up, ah?!

“You misunderstood Zhao Beicheng’s case,” Yu Xiaoxiao declared.

“Linglong, how come you’re here?” Xianzong asked.

“I’ll take you to see him, we’ll clear things up in person,” Yu Xiaoxiao continued.

“Put your imperial father down first,” Xianzong replied.

Yu Xiaoxiao hauled Xianzong to the windows as she spoke. “You really did beat up the wrong person this time. Even if you’re the emperor, you should at least tell him sorry. A leader needs to have the courage to admit his mistakes.”

Xianzong saw the open window and cried in alarm, “You–what are you going to do?!”

“Taking you to see Zhao Beicheng, ah,” Yu Xiaoxiao said as she leaped out the window with her father in this life.

Xianzong only had time to howl before his daughter took him to “ride the clouds and fly on the mist.”² This experience was something Xianzong never wanted to recall again, because he really did almost pee in his pants!

Meanwhile, the shadow guards could only gape at the open window. Outside the Suzhou embroidery screen, the musicians were still playing Xianzong’s favorite guqin³ melodies. Six slim young ladies were dancing in time to the music.

One of the shadow guards gulped the saliva that had gathered in his mouth from nervousness before asking his brothers, “Wh-what do we do?”

“Chase them?” another one asked uncertainly.

“The eldest princess’s long disappeared,” one more chimed in.

“She said she was going to take His Majesty to see Zhao Beicheng,” the fourth piped up.

The four guards exchanged looks before all of them raced through the windows and ran like mad for the palace gates.

“Should we call for help?” a shadow guard asked as he ran.

“His Majesty didn’t, so why should we?” another reasoned.

“How many people would we need to call to take down Her Royal Highness?”

“….”

“………”

Faced with this reality, the shadow guards simply left the palace in silence and headed for the justice courts alone.

While the shadow guards were still halfway there, Yu Xiaoxiao had already landed on the walls of the justice courts with Xianzong. After feeling something solid beneath his feet, Xianzong covered his mouth and told Yu Xiaoxiao, “Zhen wants to throw up.”

Yu Xiaoxiao looked at her father like he was useless. Can’t he do anything? I’m the one who did all the work, but I’m still fine. He didn’t do anything and now he wants to throw up?

Xianzong opened his mouth before crouching on top of the justice court walls to vomit. Yu Xiaoxiao had no choice but to reach out and pat his back. “You’ve slept with too many women. Your body’s too weak.”

After throwing up for a while, Xianzong turned to her and said, “Girls should be restrained with their speech!”

Yu Xiaoxiao took out a greasy paper bag and asked, “Want to eat some fried radish balls?”

The oily smell of radishes rushed into Xianzong’s nostrils before he gagged and began to vomit some more. Yu Xiaoxiao only shook her head as her illusions evaporated. Shouldn’t an emperor be those wise and brilliant gods of war? Someone who’s handsome, cool, and undefeatable? Look at this guy next to me. Aye, Yu Xiaoxiao thought, As expected, you can’t trust books.

Xianzong was very disillusioned as well. Alright, so his daughter wasn’t warm or gentle or virtuous. She was married anyways and the Gu Clan didn’t dare to return the goods. But at least she should be a normal human, right? He’d vomited so much that bile was coming up now, but she was still eating nonstop. Were cold radish balls that tasty?

After raising his daughter for 13 years and marrying her off, Xianzong suddenly discovered that she wasn’t normal at all. He desperately wanted to die at the thought.

At last, Xianzong’s vomiting attracted the attention of the justice court men. A few yamen attendants walked over with lanterns and demanded loudly, “Who’s there?!”

Xianzong was tense as he spoke to Yu Xiaoxiao. “What to do? We’ve been discovered.”

“You just wait,” Yu Xiaoxiao replied. Xianzong watched with his own eyes as his daughter jumped off the wall before hastily scrambling to hold on. He wanted to shout, but had no voice.

Don’t leave Zhen alone on a two-meter wall, you bastard daughter ah!!!

1. 1. How to relieve one’s worries – 何以解忧 (heyi jieyou), part of a Chinese saying that goes: “How to relieve one’s worries?/Only through taking wine.”

1. 1. 腾云驾雾 tengyun jiawu – A very fancy way to say they flew off through the skies. Usually an idiom used to describe how mythical beings travel through the air.

1. 1. A seven-stringed zither.