Chapter 122

“You came as an escort, but you have to eat together with me, take a walk with me, drink tea with me, and go on a date with me.”

She almost said that it would be nice if we could sleep together. Thoughts with red labels ran through her head, but Elysia brazenly concluded that she should not.

“And kiss you?”

“Uh?”

Flustered by the straightforward question, she bit her lip. Could he possibly accuse her of kissing just as she liked?

Cassian came closer as he leaned over her.

“Can I touch you?”

Even though she pondered what to say, she was already nodding her head. As she stayed still for a moment while Cassian pressed his thumb on her biting lips, Elysia hastily swatted off his hand.

“Ah… sorry.”

She almost bit him.

The back of Cassian’s hand was red from how hard she had hit him. Seeing that, she held his hand and dragged it back with an apologetic face.

“…Sorry.”

Please don’t say that the bones were cracked. As she thought so to herself, Elysia carefully inspected his hand.

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not because I don’t like it.”

“Yes. Then, it’s fine.”

At that, Cassian tilted his head slightly and smiled. She couldn’t take her eyes off the characteristic languid smile.

* * *

Elysia took Cassian out into the garden. She still held his hand. It was getting dark as time passed like this. Quietly raised her head, she glanced up at the sky before asking.

“Isn’t there a lot you want to ask me?”

Cassian nodded his head as if he had no intention of denying it.

“…Actually, there are so many that I don’t know where to start.”

“Anything. You can ask whatever comes to mind.”

These were questions that she would have to go through at least once. Thinking so, Elysia let go of his hand and moved in front of him.

“Will you give me an honest answer?”

“Yes. I won’t lie. I might omit it appropriately.”

Cassian made eye contact, adding that that was enough.

“Why didn’t you come to see me?”

“…I can’t stand it.”

It was because she couldn’t stand the temptation to suck his blood.

Meanwhile, Cassian raised an eyebrow for a moment. Maybe that was because it was not a good enough answer.

“Did you wait?”

“Every night.”

There was not the slightest hesitation in that answer, and it seemed to contain something like a slight resentment. It would be nothing compared to the amount of time she had waited, but that bothered her a little, although Cassian did nothing wrong.

“And you would come if I was sick?”

Cassian took her wrist and bent down.

As a gentle kiss landed on the inside of her wrist, Elysia wanted to shake off his hand, just in case he noticed that she had lost her pulse, but she couldn’t move.

“Looking at the times you’ve been looking for me, I think so. So after that, I didn’t go even if you were sick.”

Wasn’t it ambiguous to say that it was because he was sick?

Elysia and Cardel were always keeping tabs on Cassian. While he didn’t know, he couldn’t even argue that he hadn’t been properly sick.

“Why did you wait?”

“I don’t know either. I think I know now.”

It was an ambiguous answer. Hearing that, Cassian laughed and grabbed the ends of her hair.

“It’s so…”

“What?”

His eyes twisted in agony while waiting for her to finish her words.

“I wanted to see you, but when I saw you, I was choked… I don’t know what to do.”

Those words make no sense. Still, it was not so different from her feelings as if they were of the same mind. As he thought so, Cassian lowered his head and fixed his gaze on the hair he was holding.

“Why me?”

“Because it’s you, Cassian.”

With the calm voice, he raised his head again. Instead, a more distorted face appeared in his field of vision. It looked like he would cry if touched.

“Never mind the man in the portrait. It’s because it’s you.”

“I’m not a substitute, I’m me.”

Elysia bit her lip.

Why was he making such a wounded face? She couldn’t figure out how to deal with this though she was able to give an honest answer.

“Yes. You’re not a substitute.”

It bothered her that he talked as if she was treating him like a thing, but she had to let him know.

“But, isn’t it true that you found me with that portrait?”

“Well. That’s right.”

It was a fact that they already knew each other, so Elysia decided to turn around a bit and speak her mind.

“Even if you look the same, you are a different person. You will never be like him.”

She didn’t actually mean this though it seemed like she was wrong. Didn’t this sound like he couldn’t be that man, no matter how much he looked like him?

Cassian seemed to accept it as well.

“So, I mean…”

“I am the only one who can be by your side.”

Cassian raised his voice once more. Did he know something from the way she talked that he was not alive?

“Ah…”

Perhaps so. He couldn’t be with her anymore. Even though he was in front of her, he was not there…

Cassian, not someone else, confirmed that fact, so Elysia couldn’t deny it any longer that she could no longer see Cassian, who had become the past. Even though she knew it, she couldn’t accept it… but now, she could fully understand it.

Even though the man in front of her right now was him, he wasn’t. When the situation that she was always worried about came over her, she didn’t know what to do.

“…I guess I said something I shouldn’t have said.”

“What?”

Cassian raised his hand and caressed her eyes. It was only then that she could feel the tears running down her cheeks.

At that, his lips hardened, and he rubbed her cheek as if he was holding back something. The tears didn’t get swept away but rather wet her cheeks. Cassian fumbled with his lips until the tears stopped flowing.

“Keep me by your side.”

He uttered in a firm voice.

“Isn’t that what you call me for?”

Even though he was speaking confidently, Cassian’s eyes were shaking slightly as if he was afraid to hear the answer.

“…That’s right. If you would like it.”

If only he would accept it….

He probably wouldn’t know how much Elysia had to restrain herself even after finding him. However, even when he said he would be by her side, in fact, she didn’t completely believe it. Shouldn’t that be the case?

It could be the fiery feelings of a twenty-year-old… How did she come to worry about this?

“Shall we go in?”

She was already pulling his hand. Elysia wiped the marks from her face, then stopped at the presence she felt as she moved ahead.

Cassian frowned and turned his head away as if he sensed someone was there.

“I made sure not to let anyone in.”

“I guess it’s because of me. I’m sorry.”

“No. It’s not because of you.”

Elysia smiled crookedly as she looked at the successor of the Esteban family in the distance. He was clearly arguing with the attendant. Did he come to see Cassian?

“He must be sick in his stomach to come here.”

Callisto, Cassian’s older brother, was always jealous of him.

In fact, Cassian has no interest in the successor position. It was not exactly that. Since he had never asked outright, maybe that wasn’t the case either. He’d be more than happy to take that position if he wanted to.

“Elysia.”

It would be nice to call him without the word ‘Lady,’ but suddenly calling her like this reminded her of him from the past. She was sorry, but perhaps it would be better to stick to the ‘Lady’ for now.

“I never said you could just call me.”

“Lady Elysia. Shall we stop looking over there and go in?”

Saying so, Cassian gently grabbed her hand and pulled her back. He didn’t seem to care much when asked to put the word ‘Lady’ to her name. Rather, it seemed that he cared more about Callisto than that.

“What’s the matter? Would you like me to deal with it?”

Elysia asked, pointing behind her.

“I just wish we wouldn’t run into each other.”

“Yes. I’ll make sure he doesn’t appear in front of you.”

How difficult would that be?

Elysia was taking quite a bit of pleasure in doing something for him. She used to have that fun with Cardel when he was growing up.

If she wanted to buy him clothes, she sent the best fabric to the Duke’s residence. When Cardel started learning swordsmanship, she stole a national treasure from another country.

If she had to think of each one, there would be no end to it because she wanted her to have the best in everything, starting with the little things. Compared to those things, it was like getting rid of such an insignificant child.

As Elysia tried to approach the attendant, thinking about her old days, Cassian grabbed her.

“It’s not like that.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t like seeing Lady Elysia and brother run into each other.”

“Why?”

Elysia did not understand and looked rather puzzled.

“…Because brother and I look alike.”

“What?”

Could it be that he resembles Cassian? Elysia laughed and tousled his hair.

“You don’t look alike at all.”

“…Compared to me, yes.”