Li Yingyu’s self-cognition: I am tone-deaf and misbehave myself, so I behave either in an unreliable or improper way.

–Preface

You’re a master as long as you’re rich and you can be other’s mother as long as you have milk to nurse in our Chen Kingdom. If a man is rich, he can marry several wives and concubines, and for a woman, vice versa, the true sense of equality between men and women.

However, I don’t like being called master. Back then, anyhow I was regarded as a top beauty in the surrounding areas. Being called in that way frequently, I, a girl of her prime years, feel like an old bitch…

On that day, I was squatting in the backyard and eating a greasy chicken secretly, when I heard Lian’er rushing toward me while yelling, “Master, bad news; Master, bad news!”

I hastily stuffed the chicken into the parterre, rubbed my hands on my clothes and hid them behind, and then I looked up staring at her, “What the hell are you shouting about? I’m perfectly fine!”

Lian’er stuck her tongue out with her little face flushing, apparently due to gasping.

“Master, the Third Childe and the Fourth Childe are quarrelling with each other!”

It was really annoying. Why did they quarrel again? Why couldn’t they stop it for several days? The ancient didn’t deceive me that owing too many childes and paramours didn’t necessarily lead to happiness.

Originally, my love story was just like a horse. Seemingly, it was intimate that the two of us rode on it, but actually we had to bear the narrow space. The reason why it developed into a carriage was that I became a dissolute person forever due to a moment’s error…When was the end of the bloody annoying day of mess?

I shifted my responsibility in an adept way and said while waving my hands, “Let the Second Childe suppress the disturbance!”

Tao the Second Childe, capable of deterring the underworld of martial arts, could also guard the house. He was much more capable than me the Master.

But Lian’er said, “The Second Childe is out.”

“What about Master Shifu?”

“The First Childe is napping.”

Gloomy and annoyed, I pulled my hair…

Alas! These guys! Following me tightly when I wanted to be alone, but they were nowhere to be found when I was in dire need of them!

A bang of something being smashed came from far away, and my heart ached, broken like the stuffing for dumplings. Therefore, I wiped the corners of my eyes with the greasy paws and said, “Let him smash, desperately. Tao Er (Refers to Tao the Second Childe) shall be responsible for all that Tang San (Refers to Tang the Third Childe) has done!”

“What about the Fourth Childe?”

I curled my lip and said, “Do you think Qiao Si (Refers to Qiao the Fourth Childe) is the same as Tang San who thinks little of antiques? It is only Tang San a black sheep who is so foolish to sell antiques by weight. I’d rather he breaks one than sells it that way. Ah!” I had a short sigh. This was totally finding happiness in suffering, but honestly, I suffered greatly in my heart. How many greasy chickens could the antiques he broke buy…This was definitely not a right way for things going on…

Lian’er went back to the dooryard hesitantly. I craned my neck to make sure that she was far away before I returned to the parterre for my favorite greasy chicken.

I groped for it here and there without result. Then I wondered, “Did the half-eaten greasy chicken fly away”?

“Master…”, a sinister voice rang behind me. I shrewdly straightened my back.

“What are you searching for, my master?” Yan Wu (Refers to the Fifth Childe, as Wu literally means Five) pushed aside my hair with his fingers and stroked over my nape, making me feel chilled. My shaking continued.

“I’m watching the ants moving…” My voice was fading away.

“Oh?” He held my shoulder by one hand, turning me back to face him. “So, this greasy chicken was not hidden by you, my master?”

My eyes followed the chicken, packed with the greaseproof paper in his hand, getting farther and farther away from me…

“Yan, Yan Xiaowu…” I licked my underlip, longingly looking at him. “Master…master loves you the most…”

Yan Wu sneered, held my jaw with his free hand and rubbed my lips with his thumb. “Look at you, you even forgot to wipe your mouth when eating secretly.”

“What, eating secretly?” I straightened my neck swiftly and retorted weakly, “It’s a master’s thing. Can it be called stealing?”

This guy, Yan Wu, has a handsome look, but it’s a pity that his smile is really joy-killing. His smile to his Tao Second elderly brother can be overwhelming, but to me is either sneer or grin. It’s really a waste of his pretty face.

Upon hearing my words, Yan Wu curved his lips and said insidiously, “You’ve made much more progress, dare to talk to me in that way?” While saying that, he waved his hand and my greasy chicken flew out of the wall accordingly…

Oh, oh, noooooo…My greasy chicken…My way ahead to thee is long, yet I shall search high and low.

Why tears are brimming in my eyes? It is because of my deep love for the greasy chicken!…

A sudden spasm came from my heart due to the failure in stealing the chicken, followed by my “Ow! Ouch!” and then me gently lying prone on the ground. The words rushed out from my mouth, “Ouch, it’s killing me. My heart really hurts!”

“Master, what is it this time?” Yan Wu looked down at me with a lazy smile and his arms crossed on chest. I looked up and gave him a resentful glimpse, yet my malingering never worked with him. He, Yan Li, a highly skilled physician, was able to know whether I was really dead or not through the first glance, the very first step of the four diagnostic methods of traditional Chinese medicine, namely: observation, listening, interrogation, and pulse-taking. But as for my Tang San and Qiao Si, they would be extremely anxious about me even though they knew I pretended to be dead. See? It was bad-tempered Tang San and silent Qiao Si who loved me most. Hump!

Thinking of this, I myself was moved first.

“Stand up,” Yan Wu said and gently kicked me by the side waist.

Fuck you… You should treat me a delicate girl this way…

My inner heart was filled with indignation, but I pretended to pick myself up from a state of weak sign of life and then I was pulled into Yan Wu’s arms. He posed a posture to feel my pulse with his one hand and said, “Well, you are irascible because of unsatisfied lust.”

“Yes, yes, I’m insatiable with lust. I’m burning with lust. I’d better die sooner. Ouch!” I was given another pinch. Among the five childes, he was the one who enjoyed bullying me the most!

“Yan Wu sarcastically said, “Master, you’re an everlasting bane. You’re impossible to die with me the highly-skilled physician Yan’s help for you the devil.”

The corners of my mouth involuntarily twitched and I gave him a pinch on the chest.

He hissed while gritting his teeth and said, “Master, your claws are too oily!”

I continued wiping my hands with his clothes while transferring the topic, “Xiao Wu (Refers to the Fifth Childe), where is your elderly brother Tao?”

“Tao the Second has to support you the faineant, he can’t be as idle as you eating the greasy chicken secretly in the backyard. If he knows…Hey hey…”

Huh, if threatening worked, I would long be dead already!

“When will Tao the second come back?” I asked him point-blank

“It takes three days if slow, or if quick, you’ll see him at the dinner.”

Alack! “When did he leave?”

Yan Wu gave me a scornful glimpse and said, “Your mind is occupied with the greasy chicken. Aren’t you concerned about when Tao the Second left?”

I smiled obsequiously, “No, I not only care about him but also you. I know you must have been spying on me whatever I do!”