Chapter 69: A Perilous Adventure Translated by satellite of Exiled Rebels Scanlations Little flecks of gold and silver light sparkled on the Black Star of h.e.l.l, enveloping Feisha.

Layton was just about to start laughing at Feisha when he was suddenly shoved forward by a ma.s.sive force.

Feisha stared at the little starlights glimmering around him and looked back down at the brooch on his chest. By all rights, Isefel should have showed up in all his gorgeous glory. How was it that with all this fanfare, the main character had yet to appear?

“Isefel?” He shouted nervously at the brooch.

“Although the power of the Black Star of h.e.l.l is one billion times that of an ordinary gemstone, it still has limits.” Isefel’s voice came clearly through the Black Star. “Please deal with situations that you can handle by yourself.”

“It’s because we can’t deal with this ourselves that I’ve summoned…I mean, that I’ve come to trouble you with this.” Feisha explained. “I’ve always wondered how low these guys from Noah’s Ark could sink. Now I know that there’s ninety zeroes following the negative sign.” (1)

“Whether ninety zeroes follow a negative sign or positive sign, they’re both equivalent to one zero without any sign preceding it.” Isefel said.

Feisha cleared his throat. “Back to the matter at hand. (1) Very unfortunately, we’ve been besieged by both a fire-breathing dragon and a golem. According to Layton, taking care of the fire-breathing dragon should be easy enough, but the golem is impenetrable by weapons and immune to magic. The only way to defeat it is to remove the Life Stone embedded in its chest. You’re the only one I thought of that would be able to do this.”

Isefel listened quietly.

“You’re an energy being, and would be able to pa.s.s through its chest.” Feisha had already confirmed this much beforehand. “And then you could use your energy to smash the Life Stone.”

“Too much trouble.”

“…Huh?” Feisha was stunned. He thought his plan was already very solid. Could it be that Isefel had an even more brilliant idea?

“Just get rid of the fire-breathing dragon and leave quickly.”

“….”

Isefel, noticing Feisha’s lack of response, explained. “The golem moves very slowly. Besides, other than the one who placed the Life Stone in its chest, no one knows what it’s thinking.”

“….” Feisha silently put the brooch back on.

Layton pitter pattered back over. “Just now…”

“Forget about ‘just now’, hurry up and find a way to get me out of here. Otherwise I’m not going to be able to run later.”

“Huh?”

Feisha struggled to stick his head out from the crevice, yelling at everyone. “Hey! Listen to me! Concentrate your efforts on extinguishing the fire-breathing dragon first!”

Under normal circ.u.mstances, Shamal and the others would be questioning him right and left, but the fight had already worn everyone down and no one bothered to ask for a reason. Without another word, all targets were trained on the fire monster.

Originally, the monster was blinded in both eyes by Antonio. The fire from its throat was drowned out by Shamal’s water. The creature was already knocking at death’s door, and now, after a chain of various magical attacks from Locktini, it quickly ceased to breathe, falling flat onto the ground.

Feisha looked up towards the golem’s shoulders, where Asa was still searching hard for an ear to climb into. “Oh please! Now is not the time for rock-climbing, hurry up and get me out of here so we can run away!”

Asa, with sweat running down his face, replied. “But the rock monster…”

“But-but-but-but my a.s.s! Listen to me, get down here!” Feisha shouted with a surprising amount of vigor.

Bizarrely enough, Asa actually listened obediently, slowly climbing down the golem’s body.

But Locktini was faster. As soon as he finished taking care of the fire monster, he immediately flew towards Feisha.

Feisha was a bit flattered- he never thought he’d suddenly become so important. Just as Feisha was about to express his thanks, he saw a streak of white lightning in Locktini’s hands coming straight towards him.

The rock entrapping him split open.

Feisha was left standing in the exact same place, completely unharmed. The gold and silver lights from the Black Star of h.e.l.l continued hovering beside him, protecting him.

Locktini flew in front of him. “You alright?”

Feisha wiped the cold sweat from his brow, and looked blankly at him. “Hey bro, mind giving me a heads up next time you come at with with all guns blazing?”

“If I told you ahead of time, would you agree?”

“Definitely not.”

“Then no, I won’t tell you.”

“….”

Asa, Shamal, and Antonio all came over and gathered around too.

Antonio retracted his b.l.o.o.d.y claws and frowned. “How are you planning to deal with the golem?”

Feisha explained. “Originally we had two plans, but Isefel and I ended up deciding together on the easiest one.”

Shamal saw Locktini’s expression darken and promptly urged. “Get to the point.”

“The point is, we’ll take advantage of the golem’s inability to speak and its slow movement to run away! Anyway, it can’t-”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Layton turned and ran. Shamal and Antonio also turned without another word. Asa, seeing all of them leave, followed after them with a huff.

Locktini crossed his arms and looked slyly over at the very embarra.s.sed Feisha. (2) “Hmm, look at those short little legs of yours, they’re not going to take you very far. If you were to beg me though, I could consider carrying you there.”

“No matter how short they are, they’re still longer than Layton’s.” As soon as he said that, he dusted off some ash and ran to catch up with everyone on the mountain trail.

—

Although the golem was slow, its strides were still very large, so even though Feisha desperately tried to run ahead, he still couldn’t throw it off his trail completely.

Isefel’s voice suddenly came out of the brooch. “You and I decided together?”

Feisha drew a blank before he suddenly realized what Isefel was referring to. Gasping for breath, he replied “You proposed the idea, I seconded the motion, so of…of course we decided together…”

“….”

“You, you were listening to everything just now?”

“Just didn’t put in my earplugs.”

“….” He almost forgot that Isefel had a habit of monitoring everything. Feisha said, “I’m so tired from running…how about you tell a story to keep me awake?” The scenery along the road was nothing but bare mountains, and the more he ran, the sleepier he became.

The brooch went silent.

After a while, when he thought he’d need to pinch himself again, Isefel’s voice came out again. “The Tortoise and the Hare?”

It took Feisha, who was already dizzy from running, quite a while to realize that he was talking about the t.i.tle of a story. It took Isefel that long just to think of the Tortoise and the Hare. Feisha was left quite speechless.

Isefel spoke again, “There aren’t any other stories about running.”

“What do you mean…you, you could talk, talk about Liu Xiang’s childhood.” (3)

The other side remained quiet.

This time, Feisha had enough experience to know that Isefel was probably looking for a book.

After another long while, Isefel asked in a frustrated voice. “Is he from BC or AD?”

“……”

When the golem finally faded from sight, Feisha was so tired that he couldn’t even crawl. Layton had good endurance but shorter legs- he fared a bit better, but not by much.

Shamal and Locktini were drifting leisurely, flying along without a single drop of sweat.

Shamal was confused. “Back then, you managed to climb two hundred floors without gasping for breath?” Because of that, he had thought that human bodies were quite a bit hardier than they were rumored to be.

“That time was special.” At the time, he only cared about holding on to Isefel’s hand, how was he supposed to know how many floors they climbed?

“How special? Being captured by the werewolves would mean being torn apart, being caught by the rock monster would mean being crushed…” Shamal paused halfway through, noticing Antonio’s expression darken. He shut his mouth quickly. After all, he shouldn’t exactly be broadcasting the fact that there were many werewolves in the Liberation Resistance.

Feisha gasped with his hands on his knees. He looked between Shamal and Antonio, then suddenly beckoned him over.

Shamal paused for a moment, then turned his head to see Locktini standing there, wearing a truly foul expression. “Brother, you just saw yourself, he’s the one who called me over! I didn’t get close on my own.”

“Well it’s none of my business!” Locktini walked away coldly. Despite moving away though, his eyes were still inadvertently drawn to the same place.

Shamal shuffled over and asked. “What is the matter?”

Feisha scowled. “Why are you shouting so loudly?”

“Avoiding suspicion.” (4)

“And I’m Shirley Holmes.” Shirley Holmes was the female descendent of Sherlock Holmes from the 90s children’s show. Feisha pulled him aside and whispered “Did you not want to get with Antonio anymore?”

Shamal froze, his voice restrained and even more quiet than Feisha. “Who said that!?”

“Then why are you always contradicting him?” Is this how you treat someone you like? They look more like rivals in love.

Shamal forced out a laugh. “This was a mistake.”

“Also, that ‘he’ you were talking about, who is it?” This adventure has been so exhausting- if he didn’t reward himself with a bit of gossip, it would be way too boring.

Shamal pretended to focus on the scenery.

Feisha asked enticingly. “Didn’t you want me to help you chase Antonio?”

“What does chasing Antonio have to do with this?”

“Know thyself and thy enemy, and lead a hundred wars to victory.”

Shamal looked at him suspiciously. “Didn’t you say you weren’t going to help me?”

Well back then, I didn’t know you had such marvelous gossip fodder!

Of course, Feisha couldn’t actually say something like that. “Back then we didn’t know each other very well. Now things have changed, and we can be considered…comrades who have suffered together. For little things like this, I’d help in any way I can.”

“In any way you can?”

“Of course, I haven’t encountered anything I couldn’t lend a hand in yet.” Feisha thumps his chest a few times in confidence.

Shamal wavered.

Feisha simply brought out his splendid resumed. “Did you know that Gin and Hughes nearly broke up? Know who got them back together?” He proudly pointed at himself.

“……”

“Dea and Almedande…I don’t have to keep going right?”

Shamal continued looking skeptical. “You’re really going to help me?”

Feisha clasped his shoulder and said, “We’re bros, of course I’ll help you.”

Shamal was just about to speak when Locktini interrupted, cutting through the air with an icy tone. “Not going to hit the road? You planning to wait for the rock monster to catch and continue racing?”

Antonio said, “Up ahead is the Crystal City border. Getting in won’t be easy.”

Shamal sneaked a glimpse at Locktini’s expression and asked, “Hasn’t Brother managed to get into the city before, even without a travel pa.s.s?”

As soon as he said this, everyone’s gaze immediately shifted to Locktini.

But Locktini just crossed his arms and lazily looked up with an expression clearly indicating he didn’t feel like revealing anything.

Shamal elbowed Feisha.

Feisha firmly shook his head.

Shamal quietly advised, “It’s a rare chance for you to use that face of yours shamelessly, you gotta take advantage of it.” (5)

Feisha hesitated.

Translator Notes

Chinese jokes! Originally, Feisha says he’s always wondered “那几位人品能负到什么程度”, lit “how negative can the moral character of these guys get.” The term for negative (负) that he uses here isn’t usually used to describe moral character, but he uses it because he follows up with “那负号的后面就是九十个鸭蛋啊”, lit. the negative sign (-) is followed by ninety duck eggs (because the numeral ‘0’ looks oblong, like a duck egg). The joke continues into the next part, when Feisha says “还是说正事吧”, lit. “actually let’s talk about the relevant (正) stuff”. The word for relevant/important (正) is also the word for positive. On one hand he’s getting back on topic, on the other hand, it’s a cheeky way of saying “okay I’ll stop talking about the negative (负) stuff.” There is an archaic character “囧” that is used a lot on the Internet as an emoticon now because it looks like a face. It’s also p.r.o.nounced the same way as the character “窘” for “very embarra.s.sed.” Liu Xiang is a Chinese hurdler- he won the Olympic gold medal in 2004 (China’s first men’s track-and-field win), and was also a World Champion. It was a big deal and he became a major cultural icon- when this novel was written in 2009 especially, he was ma.s.sively popular. The original pun here was so intentionally, extremely bad, I honestly couldn’t think of anything to do with it. Here’s the full explanation. When Feisha asks why Shamal is shouting, he answers “避嫌” (p.r.o.nounced bixian, meaning to avoid arousing suspicion). Feisha responds by…sort of punning off of it. “碧咸”, p.r.o.nounced the exact same way, is what people in Hong Kong call David Beckham, the football player. Feisha actually explains this in-text in the next sentence (though not out loud in the dialogue), probably because this is not obvious to the Mandarin speaking characters of the story. He then replies with…another really bad joke, probably to distract Locktini from their conversation. When someone says something ridiculous, a slang response is “我还__呢”, literally meaning “and I’m __”. It can sort of function like in English where you can ridicule someone by saying “if you’re a ___ then I’m the queen of England” or something along those lines. So Feisha says “And I’m the Olympics.” I’ve changed this to Feisha playing dumb and bringing out a semi-obscure Shirley Holmes from a 90s adaptation of Sherlock Holmes because “avoiding suspicion.” And like in the original text, he explains it in the line afterwards. By the way, for those curious, in mainland China, Beckham is usually written as “贝克汉姆” p.r.o.nounced “bei ke han mu.”

The expression used here was “难得有牺牲色相的时候”, lit. something like “it’s a rare opportunity to use the method of ‘sacrificing one’s coloration'”, where ‘coloration’ can also refer to a person’s s.e.x appeal. Basically it means using any means, especially your appearance/body language to get what you want (at the cost of sacrificing your price/face).