“Huh?” I asked, confused.

Lee JiHan beckoned to me, not caring about my response. He turned around and headed toward Starbucks with his brother’s signature long stride.

Here to say goodbye to me? Why? I took my phone out of my backpack and hesitantly followed him. JiHan suddenly turned around and gave me a cold stare. He noticed my phone and frowned. It was so obvious that I immediately stopped and put my phone away. When he saw my phone completely disappear, he beckoned me again. I gradually started moving toward him.

Ah…damn it. Why…? I wanted to believe it was nothing but I felt anxious, like I was walking into the enemy’s tent. If I screamed, would JiKyung come back from the departure gate? While I was imagining something Tarzan would do, I made it to Starbucks. JiHan was sitting at an empty table. I sat across from him and put my backpack beside me. I looked over at the menu to order, but he crossed his arms and stared at the table.

“Um… are you not gonna order anything?” I asked.

“Ask them to take my order,” he said sharply.

“Huh?”

“Ask them to come over and take my order,” JiHan said. He didn’t even lift a finger, but moved only his mouth as he spoke angrily.

It sounded like he wanted the clerk to take his order at the table. Did he not know about café culture in Korea since he studied in the U.S. for so long?

“Well, you might not know this, but it’s self-service here,” I explained cautiously.

He gave me a weird look as if I’d just said something ridiculous. “Yeah, Starbucks is in the U.S. too, that’s where they started,” he said.

“You should probably know it’s self-service then,” I said.

“Do you think I don’t know about that?” JiHan said to me as if I was stupid. His big eyes made me shrink. Why are they so big even without double eyelids?

“Why would you say that, then?” I asked, baffled by his behavior.

“It means I don’t intend to do so,” he said.

“What?” I was still utterly confused.

“Don’t make me repeat myself, go order for yourself.” As if he’d said everything he needed to, JiHan turned back to the table and sighed with closed eyes.

What the hell? Why the hell is he ordering me around? He’s even five years younger than me! It was so ridiculous that I gave him a cold stare. When he was standing up, he seemed very far away but sitting down, his face was close enough for me to see each hair. But why can’t I see pores? I searched for a defect, but his clean skin was like the surface of a boiled egg. His thin lips caught my eyes, but his big mouth balanced them out. His nose line looked beautiful and his monolid eyes were deep and beautiful. He was both handsome and pretty. Isn’t that called prettisome?

Since he wasn’t watching me, I enjoyed looking at his face. Suddenly, he opened his eyes and turned to me. I was so surprised that I took a step back. Why am I scared by the person who is five years younger than me?

“Sweet one,” he said.

“Yeah…huh?” I replied.

“I’d like to order the sweetest one, please.”

Odd. It wasn’t a command, but a request. It was nice to finally be spoken to with respect, but his tone still made me feel inferior.

Ignoring my bemusement, JiHan turned back and closed his eyes. He didn’t speak again for a while. I supposed there was nothing more he wanted to say. I wanted to ask who was going to pay, but just turned back to the counter instead. He was going to be my brother-in-law within a few weeks after all, and I didn’t want to do anything to upset him.

Why is his personality so different from his brother? Is it because he’s the spoiled, youngest one? At the counter, I asked for the sweetest drink, and the clerk handed me a Green Tea Frappuccino with java chips, chocolate drizzling and chocolate whipped cream. I walked back to the table with his high calorie drink that made me feel guilty just to look at, and my americano.

As soon as I put the drinks on the table, JiHan opened his eyes to look at the Frappuccino.

“You’re good at drink-selecting,” he said. “Well, you should probably be good at selecting based on your choice of groom.” JiHan stirred his drink with a straw. “But, you don’t know where you should be.”

He chewed the straw while holding the cup. He looked at me and then sipped his drink. Ah. I know what he means. He thinks I don’t deserve his brother. Well, it’s not even offensive since I already expected that somebody would say it to me at least once before the marriage.

“I am glad you like it, I don’t like sweet drinks so I had a hard time choosing.”

“Yeah, but I said you don’t know where you should be.” JiHan repeated as he finished his drink. He put the empty cup on the table and rolled up his sleeves. With a face that looked like he was readying himself for a competition, he said, “I’m going to get to the point. I’m here to say goodbye to you. Please leave.”

Leave? To where? I blinked my eyes as questions popped up in my head. JiHan stared at me coldly.

“Stay the f*ck away from my brother.”

Does he mean that he wants me to break up with JiKyung? I almost didn’t understand what JiHan meant.

“Um…JiKyung told me that you approved of our marriage,” I began, thinking of JiKyung’s determined face.

“I told him to do whatever he wants. It doesn’t mean that I agree though. I respect his freedom, not this marriage.

“Is…isn’t that same?” I stammered. “If you respect his freedom, you should respect his marriage as well.”

“His freedom, I do respect. So I decided not to tell him not to get married. But it’s okay to tell you not to get married.”

We stared at each other in silence.

“So, don’t get married,” he said finally.

In short, he wants to bully me into giving up this marriage instead of his brother. What the… is their democracy only for JiKyung? Not anybody else?

“Of course, I wouldn’t just say goodbye if you leave,” JiHan took out a white envelope and put it on the table, sliding it toward me. “Hope you have a safe trip.”

As soon as he finished his sentence, he stood up and walked away without giving me time to say anything.

* * *

I squeezed into the space right next to the toilet in the bathroom at the airport to talk to JiKyung on the phone.

“Holy crap! Why is there so much!” I said too loudly. I could hear my voice echoing around the bathroom so I lowered it and covered my mouth so no one would hear me.

“How is it possible for a little, jobless boy to give out 100k? Is that how you all live? Is it okay for a 28 year old guy to spend money like this? Is that your family’s parenting style?”

[Well, is that your point, AhJung? That a younger guy has more money than you?]

“It’s obnoxious! With this amount, I could go to college for 10 years!”

I couldn’t even graduate because I didn’t have enough money. The feeling of inferiority made me feel so hot that I started to fan myself.

[It’s good that there’s only one thing making you mad. Usually people get mad at being humiliated.]

“Ah, it’s because I anticipated that they were going to be against us. I was ready to be humiliated. But it was a bit surprising that your brother had an issue instead of your mom.

[I didn’t know either. I’m sorry]

“Yeah, you should be. What did you teach him that’s making him act like that?”

While I was complaining, there was a knocking sound outside the door. I was paralyzed with fear because of my existing nervousness about this wedding. I was also anxious because I had 100k in my backpack, and I didn’t want anyone to rob me.

“Hey, come out,” somebody complained from outside.

“Ah, okay. I will come out. Sorry!” I replied. There was no one waiting when I got there but now there were many people in line.

[What? Who are you talking to?]

“Ah, This is the restroom,” I answered JiKyung as I stood up.

[No way. You’re talking to me on the toilet?]

“No, no, not like that…”

I opened up the door and went to the exit, covering my mouth again.

“He could still be at the airport. He might overhear our conversation. The female restroom was the perfect place to feel safe.”

[You are a worry wart.]

I peeked my head out to look around for JiHan before exiting.

[Ignore him anyway. I will take care of it and you just focus on the marriage.]

“How about the check? What should I do with this?” I asked, holding my backpack.

[You use that one.]

“What!”

[Take that as the early monetary gift.]

“It’s 100k!”

[You were going to receive 500k anyway. Consider it an advance.]

“Do you think it’s the same? If I take this, it means I’m not going to get married to you. I’m just going to disappear with this money.”

[Yeah? Return it to him then.]

“I will, I will…I’m going to…”

I reluctantly went over the meeting with JiHan in my head. The meeting was short, so my reminiscence was as well. However, I unwittingly ended up biting my nails again.

Lee JiHan. He’s so handsome that anybody would want to meet him again, but I do not. So I timidly ask JiKyung over the phone, “Would you tell me your brother’s bank account number?”

* * *

JiKyung’s flight is about to leave, so my phone conversation quickly ends. He said he would contact me after the 12 hour flight. I decided to wait for his call at his house, which would soon be mine after a few weeks.

JiKyung didn’t remember his brother’s bank account number, so JiHan’s 100k was still in my backpack. I was scared of being pickpocketed, so I took a taxi to Seoul from InCheon Airport.

In the fast-driving taxi, the rate on the meter went up quickly. It felt like I was throwing my money out on the road. I turned to look outside. It’s alright, nothing. Not even a mother-in-law or sister-in law, just a brother-in-law. It’s cool. I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t a big deal. Somehow, I started praying that these two months would pass by as quickly as the view outside the taxi window. There would be no more meetings with JiHan until JiKyung came back.

* * *

When I opened the house with the access card, the 2500 sq. ft house looked really huge. This was where JiKyung lived alone? And where I would live from now on. For a moment, I felt like I was in love with JiKyung.

I took off my shoes and danced into the massive living room. There was a couch and a table that had many bags on it.

What is this? As I walked closer, I saw an envelope on the edge of the table with my name on it. I opened the envelope to see the letter inside. It greeted me with JiKyung’s familiar, organized handwriting.

[I prepared the things you need. If there’s more that you want, you can purchase it with the card on the table. Just don’t spend your money. Buy our furniture and stuff with the card too. I’m going to tell mom that we bought it with your money. You’re already doing me a favor by marrying me, so it makes me uncomfortable if you buy things as well.

Use everything freely, the house, the card, everything is yours.

See you in two months.]

How sweet of him. I put down the letter and opened the bags. Pajamas, outerwear, underwear, foundation and color cosmetics, everything was in there. He’s sweet but his caring nature is even sweeter. His thoughtfulness made me smile. He would have been the best husband if only he wasn’t gay. Of course, he wouldn’t have asked to marry me if he wasn’t.

Bitter reality turned my smile into smirk, but I shook my head and took out the pajamas with a happy mind. I decided to take a bath and then put on my new clothes in my new house.

I went to the bathroom and filled the marble bath with hot water while I took off my clothes. Given that five people; me, my dad, my step-mom, my step-brother and my step-sister all shared a bathroom at my step-mom’s house, taking a bath there was almost impossible. Honestly, taking a shower was even uncomfortable. Especially since I was a new arrival, I didn’t feel comfortable using too much water.

Now I could use as much water as I wanted to draw a bath in this luxurious bathroom. I sank into the warm water, still unsure if it was even real.

“Ohhh!” I unwittingly exclaimed. The water was at my knee level. At my eye level, I saw a memo attached to the wall.

[Put this in the bath, it’s bath foam.]

I reached for the bath foam next to the memo. As soon as I poured some in the bath, it made lavender scented bubbles.

“Woohoo!” I giggled to myself.

There was nothing more I needed. It wasn’t an issue that my husband would never love me. After all, love from a husband dissipates as time passes anyway. There is a saying that the first daughter lives like her mom. If so, I’d rather have a fake marriage than be faked out by a husband. At least my husband won’t be stolen by other girls. And even if he is, there would be no betrayal, no drama at all. Yes. This is the best. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage anyway.

As I came to this conclusion, I sat in the bath and waited for the water to rise up a bit more. When the bubbles were up to my chest, I turned off the faucet and leaned my head back. I closed my eyes, using the bath as a bed and the bubbles as a blanket. I gradually began to feel sleepy. I decided I wouldn’t mind a nap, and let the sleepiness take over me.

I opened my eyes after I heard something while asleep. I tried to stand up but felt cold. I had slept a little too long, and the bubbles on the water had mostly disappeared. What was that sound? I stood up, thinking about the sound I heard. Suddenly, the door opened and I came face to face with JiHan. For a second, I was paralyzed, but then I screamed and jumped back into the bath. I covered my chest and closed my eyes, still continuing to scream.