Chapter 41: Chapter 41 – Un-Engagement Impossible, Part 1

JiKyung and I sat across from each other at the tea table in my room. Lee JiHan sat at the edge of my bed with his arms crossed watching us.

“OK. You tell me in your own words. What is this situation.” JiKyung glared at me with angry eyes.

I tried to ignore Lee JiHan and concentrate solely on JiKyung. I folded my hands over my knees with a heavy heart.

“I ended up in this situation with your brother… So, I’m not able to keep my end of the deal. I’m sorry.” I apologized with my head down in shame.

Whatever the reason, it was true that I had broken the contract. Because of it, JiKyung did suffer damages.

“Do you think simply saying sorry will resolve this?” JiKyung asked in an irritated voice.

“I’m sorry. I know this won’t resolve anything, but I’m still sorry,” I said.

“We’ve met with the parents and sent out the wedding invitations,” JiKyung said. “Plus, the wedding itself is four weeks away. You want to break this off?”

“So, I thought about it, and you can say that there is something seriously wrong with the bride, me,” I said feeling hopeful. “Then, you won’t suffer any more damage. Don’t you think?”

JiKyung scoffed and sighed. “With the wedding right in front of us, and my bride has fallen for my brother. Yes, that is a serious problem. If this becomes known, I will become a laughing stock, and my brother will be a filthy cheat. This will ruin our family!”

“I’ll make sure that people don’t find out about this,” I said. “Tell them a different reason for us breaking it off. Like you found out that there is something wrong with the girl’s past or that she’s an unwed mother… Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Tell them whatever is best for you. If you make an excuse like that, then it wouldn’t cause harm to your reputation.”

“If I make up an excuse like that, don’t you know that it will cause you harm?” JiKyung asked.

“I know,” I replied.

“Knowing that, you still want to go through with it?” JiKyung asked repetitively.

“Yes. I have to break off the engagement. So, I’m begging you,” I said.

I got up from the tea table and moved one step closer, so that if I kneeled, the table wouldn’t block his view of me. Slowly, I folded my knees. Before my knees even hit the floor, Lee JiHan grabbed my shoulder and lifted me up. Thanks to him, my knees were forced to straighten.

Lee JiHan faced me angrily and scolded me. “What are you doing? I don’t even want to see you kneel before me, but you do it in front of someone else?”

“Oh, no, I, I feel like I have to do this so that JiKyung…”

“If you kneel in front of me or anyone else one more time, I will put you in a cast,” Lee JiHan strictly said.

“Oh, I understand, so stop interrupting. Promise me you won’t interrupt anymore.”

I pleaded with Lee JiHan, glancing nervously at JiKyung. Lee JiHan frowned displeased and pointed to his eyes.

“I’m watching you.” Lee JiHan pointed at my eyes. “You will not kneel.”

He went back to the bed after warning me. JiKyung took turns looking at Lee JiHan then me with exasperation.

Banned from kneeling, I at least stayed standing as a punishment and continued our conversation. “Anyways, JiKyung. The fact that this happened between me and your brother means I can’t get married to you…”

“Break up with JiHan. Like we agreed on the contract, marry me,” JiKyung said.

“What?”

“The contract you made with me was first, so keep your promise,” JiKyung said.

“JiKyung, that’s… I like your brother now, so how could I possible marry you?” I asked.

“What about me? What am I supposed to do?” JiKyung asked seriously. “Is there another girl that will marry me knowing and understanding my situation?”

“Hey, that’s…”

“If I don’t marry you, I won’t be able to marry anyone for the rest of my life,” JiKyung said. “Won’t people think there is something wrong with me?”

“Are you crazy?” Lee JiHan shot up from the bed again.

“What?”

“She’s not a stranger’s girl but your brother’s! Because of other people’s eyes, you really want to marry this girl? What kind of nonsense are you talking about!” Lee JiHan stomped over to me and grabbed my left arm. “Why are you listening to this nonsense? Forget it.”

Lee JiHan dragged me toward the door.

“But, I’m not done talking…” I staggered along with him for a couple steps, but I put down my foot to resist.

JiKyung suddenly came over and grabbed my right arm. “Whether it’s nonsense or not, a contract is a contract!”

As he pulled on my other arm, I was stretched out like a tug of war competition between the two brothers.

“Even if it is a contract, if you terminate it, that’s it!” Lee JiHan yelled and pulled me as I slid to the left.

“What? Terminate?” This time, JiKyung pulled and I stumbled to the right.

Lee JiHan pulled me back to the left. “Even contracts between businesses get terminated, so why can’t you terminate a contract between friends?”

“Yes. I won’t terminate it!” JiKyung shouted.

From both sides, my arms hurt and my ears were starting to ring. My head was starting to spin. As I faltered due to my scattered mind, JiKyung suddenly let go of my arm. Because of that, I fell and collided into Lee JiHan. He hurriedly caught me by the shoulders.

I was being helped back up when I heard JiKyung’s angry voice. “Na AhJung! Contract termination! Do whatever you want!”

“Rea, really?” The sudden approval caught me off guard. I looked at JiKyung with wide eyes.

With vicious eyes, he pointed at me and said, “But, the penalty owed is 10 times what you received. $500,000!”

“$5… $500,000?” I felt like someone hit me over the head.

“I told you when we made the contract that if you terminate it, the penalty will be multiplied by 10,” JiKyung said. “If you have that money, then terminate it! Go ahead! I’ll cleanly break it off for you. If you can’t pay the $500,000 penalty, then don’t even dream about breaking off the wedding! And, don’t think about dating my brother!”

“That’s…” I tried to remember through my shock the moment when JiKyung had said those words.

“You better not cheat on me with another guy before I come back. You can’t change your mind, alright? If you terminate the contract, the penalty is 10 times what you received, got it?”

“Wasn’t… Wasn’t that a joke?” I asked in shock.

“It wasn’t a joke to me. A verbal contract is still binding,” JiKyung said.

I received $50,000, but the penalty…10 times… I really have to pay $500,000…

As if time had stopped, my ears became muffled. I couldn’t hear anything. In front of me, Lee JiHan seemed to have run over to JiKyung to argue with him, but I couldn’t see anything either. I just stood there with my mind blank except for the one thought.

$500,000… I didn’t even receive the $50,000 I was supposed to get on my wedding day. Penalty $500,000… How do I pay that? That’s… That won’t even be possible if I sold an organ… But, that’s the only way I can break the engagement and date Lee JiHan… If I don’t have $500,000, do I have to give up Lee JiHan? I have to live with Lee JiHan like I did before?

My emotions spilled up to the surface. Not wanting to end the relationship, I looked JiKyung straight in the eyes. As if I was in a trance, I said, “Lee JiKyung, I can’t pay that money.”

Both brothers stopped talking and turned to me.

“However much I think about it, I’m unable to make that kind of money,” I said. “Even if I sold all my organs, I won’t be able to get $500,000. Me paying the $500,000 penalty is an impossibility.”

I lowered my gaze and thought through it once more. That amount was still impossible. I raised my head and looked at JiKyung.

“But you know that too,” I said. “You know I can’t pay you that much, you of all people know that the best. But, you asking me for that to break off the marriage… That just means you want me to give up on Lee JiHan.”

“Yes. Just give it up. Give it up.” JiKyung didn’t even hesitate as he demanded I give up, as if it was something easy for me to do.

“No. I can’t do that. “I shook my head and said what had been inside the whole time. “JiKyung, I’m… I’m the happiest when I am acting on stage. When I’m acting, I don’t have to be me. Playing a part means I can live someone else’s life. I’m the happiest when I’m pretending to be someone else.”

“What are you talking about all of a sudden?” he asked.

“Watching my father love my stepmother’s children more than me, hating me because I remind him of my mother… I couldn’t even be loved by my own father,” I said. “I thought I could never be loved by anyone. That was just a fact for me, and I hated myself for it.”

My vision became blurry, so I couldn’t see JiKyung’s expression. I continued on with my emotions dictating my speech. “So, I started acting because I didn’t want to live as myself. Because living as me was unbearable.”

I blinked unable to swallow as my feelings overtook me. And as my vision cleared, I could see JiKyung’s expression.

“But I. For the first time, I want to live as me,” I told him firmly watching JiKyung’s frozen eyes. “Living as myself could be this great… I actually can think that now when I’m with Lee JiHan. That’s why I can’t give it up. I want to live like this at least once. I want to love and be loved and continue living as me.”

I shook my head as my vision started to blur again. “So, I’m not going to give it up. I won’t.”

Before the tears were able to drop, I quickly wiped them away. Through my cleared-up vision, I could see JiKyung frowning at me. I articulated my next words carefully. “In return, I will find a way to make this up to you. The promise I couldn’t keep, I’ll make up for it for the rest of my life.”

JiKyung lowered his head as a shadow crossed his face.

“If you want me to pay you back with money, then I’ll pay you back every day with whatever I earn,” I said. ‘It might not be as much as you want, but I can give you everything I have.”

I looked at JiKyung after relaying my promise to him. He remained silent. As I waited desperately for his answer, he suddenly left the room.

“Ji, JiKyung!” I moved my feet to try to follow him, but Lee JiHan block me.

“You can stop now. You’ve done enough,” Lee JiHan told me as he put his hand on my shoulder.

“Nothing’s been resolved,” I said. “JiKyung still…”

“You’ve said everything you want to,” Lee JiHan said.

“What?”

“Is there more you want to say to my brother?” he asked.

I thought about what Lee JiHan said and shook my head. I had said everything in my heart I had wanted to tell JiKyung.

“Then, there’s no point in saying anymore. You have done your best to make a promise you can keep, and now we just have to give my brother time to think about it,” Lee JiHan calmly said.

“Will JiKyung think about it?” I nervously asked.

Lee JiHan pulled me into an embrace. “From now on, I’ll do my best so don’t worry.” He patted me on the back. “I should have done it sooner. I reacted too emotionally without thinking about your side of things. Only what I wanted. I understand how you are feeling now, so trust me and leave it all to me. I’ll make sure you continue to live like this.”

He whispered the promise into my ear and sealed the deal with a kiss. Still in Lee JiHan’s embrace, I let out the tears I had been holding back.